Saturday, December 24, 2011

Christmas Update 2011

Dear Friends, Family, Shareholders, and Valued Customers,

Merry Christmas!

2011 has been a big year for our Corporation. In January, we increased our numbers by 50 percent!



While the executive board agrees that this rate of growth is unsustainable, we are nonetheless thrilled with this year's output.

Our newest employee, Dorothy, has proven herself to be a valuable acquisition. We will admit that at first we wondered if she was taking her work seriously. It seemed she spent all her working hours sleeping or protesting workplace conditions.



Employee Complaint Files, March 18, 2011: It is too bright in here for a good nap and people keep pointing that thing in my face.

However, we have been very pleased with her improvements this year. In a mere eleven months she has passed her Infant Locomotion Courses 1-4 (rolling, scooting, crawling and cruising) with flying colors and learned to grab, eat, sit, smile, laugh, and babble. She has recently begun adding baby signs to her already prodigious skills, with the initial production of "milk" and "all done". We feel confident that in the next year, ChanCorp will be able to offer even more communications products to our valued customers due to Dorothy's diligent efforts.



July 15, 2011: BabyGrins (tm) overtakes SmoochableCheeks (tm) to become Dorothy's most popular offering.

Ben, our Co-President, CFO and Chief Musical Engineer, has also been hard at work. In addition to his work for ChanCorp, he has put significant work into ChamberHymns and WoogiWorld this year. He's worked hard at creating games and activities to teach children Internet Safety, Music, English, and more. His musical skills have been in high demand this year, as well. He's transcribed, arranged, written, and performed music on many occasions, including, notably, at a Soiree Musicale thrown by one of ChanCorp's parent corporations in Virginia.



August 1, 2011. Being a Co-President, CFO and Chief Musical Engineer is thirsty work!

Sarah, ChanCorp's Co-President, Household Manager and Food Engineer, was promoted this year to Human Resources Officer as well. She has very much enjoyed her promotion and the opportunity it has given her to get to know ChanCorp's newest employee. Sarah has also been honing her abilities as a counselor in the Primary Presidency, where Child Management skills are always in demand. She also very much enjoyed a corporation retreat in Utah over the summer, where she got to inspect the acquisitions of many sibling corporations.



Here at ChanCorp, we are looking forward to what we hope will be a happy and successful 2012, and we wish the same to you.

Once again, Merry Christmas!

Sincerely,

Ben, Sarah, and Dorothy Chan

6 comments:

Victoria Blanchard said...

Love it! What a cute letter!

Grandma & Pop-pop said...

Your parent corporation thinks that all of you are due a huge bonus!

Love,

The BOSSES

Kim said...

Dude. Coolest Christmas letter I've read this year!!

Bryan Weight Family said...

Loved it!! Very clever and what a darling addition you have!

Tyler & Rose-Ellen said...

I love your nerdiness. This was a fun letter!

Madsen Family said...

So clever and witty. Can you please write my Christmas card this year, too? (And by this year, I mean 2011 because we all know it hasn't been written yet!)